Forgiveness
by Potters-wayward-tardis
Summary: Spoilers for The LAst Jedi. Oneshot. After Rey closes the door on Kylo and he realises the force bond was real, not just something Snoke created, he makes it his mission to find Rey and seek redemption. Only problem is she has closed herself off to him, making her unreachable. Until now.


A/N: Thanks to an amazing friend for helping me write this! Had a lot of fun, and I hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sadly I own nothing

It had been months, nearly a year, since she closed the door in his face. Kylo still wasn't over it. He could tell that she wasn't either. He's been seeking her out through their Force bond nearly every day, but she always closed herself off to him, still angry. He didn't blame her; the things he'd done, the people he'd killed, it was unforgivable really. He'd be lucky if he'd ever even see her again.

Which is exactly why he was shocked, relieved, yet surprised, when she let him through. She must have been alone in her room, it was pretty late, after all. But he could see her, so she must have at least been thinking of him. He felt his breath catch in his throat as he sank to his knees, she was just as beautiful as he remembered.

She noticed him moments later, mouth turned down in a frown, but at least she hadn't pushed him out the moment she saw him. "What's this? The great Supreme Leader on his knees for a nobody?"

Kylo swallowed hard, trying not to let her know how deep her words cut. "No, just a man on his knees for the woman he loves."

Rey looked away, turning to face the wall. It was hard to look at him. After everything he's done. Everyone he's killed without hesitation. His temper was out of his control and his rage was something Rey was actually afraid of. "You love me?" Rey asked incredulously. She was sure he wasn't capable of love. After the way he reacted when she refused his offer to join him. Again. It seemed as though there was no winning in this. And who knows if this was really him. She hadn't opened their bond in a long time. This could very well be a manifestation of the parts of him she actually missed.

He could see the distrust in her eyes, hear the doubt in her voice. What could he say, what could he do, to make her understand? "When Snoke first said he was responsible for the bond, I was angry. I'd thought everything a lie. The way you looked at me, with hope for my redemption. The way I'd felt about you. Then he hurt you and I couldn't.. I wouldn't let it happen again. I thought the bond had died with him, but I still wanted you by my side. If you stayed, that would be proof that at least some of it was real. But you left, and I got angry and scared. Then I saw you again, through the bond. Snoke hadn't made it, it was real. /We/ were real."

What was Rey supposed to say? What could she do at this point on? If she turned him down again, who else would he kill in a murderous rampage? How irrationally would be react then? At the same time, she didn't want to turn him down. Rey was sure she saw light in Kylo. During the many times they saw each other through their bond, Rey could feel Kylo's hesitation in the darkness. How unsure he was of his place. Rey still didn't know her own place. She still felt lonely. "We were real." She agreed, turning back around to face him now. "It can't ever work, Ben. Look at us. Look at where we both stand," and she hated how emotional he made her feel. Tears started to well up in her eyes, which she quickly wiped away. "I can't be with you if you choose darkness."

He felt his own throat close up, but forced the tears away. She'd seen him cry too many times. He ached to dry her tears, to hold her in his arms, to tell her everything would be alright. And oh, how he wanted that to be true. He got to his feet and took a few steps towards her, shedding his gloves and dropping them to the floor. He reached out to her and paused, letting her make the choice. "Last time we touched, you saw my future. You saw what my heart wanted. Take my hand. Tell me Rey, tell me what I want right now. Because I don't care for the power anymore, not if I can't have you."

Rey's breath caught in her throat. She watched him step closer to her, reach out as if he was desperate for her touch. And he wasn't really there, no. But they could still touch. Rey remembered touching his hand so clearly back in the hut. How real he felt. How she was sure that he would let go of the darkness. Rey wiped her cheeks and held her breath, reaching out slowly, closing her eyes when she felt the tip of his fingers. Visions flooded her mind, feeling like the clearest memories. Or dreams. She wasn't sure yet. Rey was on a planet somewhere, and everything was green. Kylo, or Ben, was right beside her. Their hands were clasped tightly, and they were watching something together. Ben had this look in his eyes, like he was proud, maybe. Rey turned her head and saw him- a small boy playing with toys, making them move around him with the Force. He had black hair. He looked like Ben. Rey retracted her hand and gasped, more tears streaming down her face. She looked to Kylo as if in shock. "You- we," She stuttered. "A child. We have a child."

He was panting, he'd seen something too. A few years down the road. A private ceremony, Rey in white, Leia walking her down the aisle. A future where they could be together. Where they could be happy. Kylo choked back a sob and dropped his hand, looking at her with a new light. Seh could forgive him, she could /love/ him. "See Rey? This, us, we can make it work. I'll leave the First Order for you, kill them all if I have to. All I want is you."

Rey looked at him the same way he saw her now. "Ben," she said breathlessly. Rey didn't know why he would lie now. It didn't make any sense. None of this really did. "I-I need to see you first. In person. I have to see you." She stammered out, worrying at her bottom lip. Rey didn't want to promise him anything until she could actually touch him. Let him touch her. She still had some trust issues she needed to work out with him. "Can we meet somewhere?"

His eyes drifted to her lips for a moment, then back to her eyes. Before he knew what he was doing he was nodding along. He'd tell the First Order he had a lead but had to go alone. As the new Supreme Leader they couldn't argue. He /had/ to go. wanted to see her as much as she needed to see him. For the first time in months he had hope. "Yes. Yes, of course. Anywhere. Just give me the coordinates."

Rey was with the rebel fleet, which she couldn't tell him. He couldn't know where they were just yet. In her head, she quickly came up with a plan. It had to work. "Jakku." She answered, standing and moving to pack a bag. She'd have to take the Falcon, which Chewie wouldn't be too happy about. But Rey was quickly learning there was no pleasing everyone. "Here. Meet me here. I'm leaving now." Rey scribbled the coordinates on a piece of paper and showed him. Before she could think about closing the bond, she was leaving her room, boarding the Falcon, and lifting off. Seeing Ben lit a kind of fire inside her. Excitement. Nervousness. Of course she was scared, truly. If this was some sort of twisted trick she could very well die. But Rey didn't know her place, let alone her fate. She was jumping into light speed and in no time, bringing the Falcon down to the exact location she told Kylo to meet her. Jakku. This lonely, desert, crappy planet she had lived on for so long. It seemed fitting to meet him here.

Kylo watched her pack and leave, his own heart hammering hard in his chest. She was really going to do it. He'd see her again, they'd figure this out. He was a jittery mess as he readies his own small ship, thankfully not being stopped by anyone. He let a mechanic know to tell the crew not to come looking as he set off for light speed, his excitement growing as he grew closer.

Rey touched down on the planet, taking a deep breath as she settled. Had she made a terrible mistake? No, she couldn't have. Kylo was genuine and true, for once. She saw their son they had together. How it wasn't so far in the future. It made her stomach flip. Rey flipped the switch that would release the door, a platform descending to the dirt. Rey slowly left the ship, realizing she had no weapons on her. And she prayed that there would be no need for the Force, because now it was all she had. Rey waited, eyes closed as she opened the bond again and reached out for him, looking for him.

He was further from Jakku, but at light speed he presumed he'd only landed a few minutes after she did. Seeing her ship, and her in front of it, almost made his eyes water. She was here, she was really hear. She appeared before him as he powered down the ship, through the bond. Seeing her, in front of him and several yards away through the window, was almost too much. "Rey. I'm here."

"Come to me." Rey said out loud, though she knew he could hear her through the force as well. She could see him. His scar. His black hair that was wild and sort of in his face. Rey took a couple steps towards his ship, the engine winding down and humming gently. "Ben." She said his name, smiling to herself because it felt good to say his name out loud. And to see him. Soon, she'd get to feel him once more.

He let out a small gasp at the name Ben, glad she viewed him as human again. Without hesitating he lowered the ramp and practically ran to her, stopping just a few feet away. He watched her eyes open as the bond broke away, they didn't need it now. Not when they were so close. "Rey." He looked at her in awe, this beautiful goddess who still had faith in him.

Rey couldn't breathe. He was so close. Right in front of her now. How beautiful he was, was all she could think about at first. He towered over her, tall and strong and honest. She felt a tear roll down her cheek. "I can't believe I'm seeing you again." She felt overwhelmed.

He took a step forward and reached a hand to her face, wiping away her tear with his thumb. "I'm here. I'm here." He smiled softly, overwhelmed with joy. "I'm not going anywhere."

Rey didn't flinch when he reached out to wipe her tear. It was funny, because she wasn't exactly sure what romance was until she understood what she felt for Ben. She had been alone all her life, untouched and unloved by anyone. Except for now. She threw her arms around him and cling to his body, sobbing into his chest. All the pain she carried with her was drifting away. All the hurt and sadness and loneliness was disappearing as she clutched to him, fisting in his shirt as she practically wrapped herself around his body.

His arms moved to wrap around her small body, holding her as close to him as possible. He closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair, memorizing every detail. They way she felt, the way she smelt, his own emotions. everything, just for a moment, was perfect. "I love you. So, so much. I love you Rey." He repeated it over and over like a prayer, never wanting to let go.

"I love you." Rey whimpered into his chest. She didn't want to let go. She couldn't let go of him, ever. Now that he was here with her and this was real, how could she accept anything else. She wished it would stop, but the tears kept coming. She sobbed into his chest until it was wet. But he didn't seem to care or mind at all. "I love you, Ben. Please don't leave me. Ever. Promise me." Rey said, leaning back to look up at him, arms still wrapped around his body.

"I promise." She was his everything, his reason to live, his hope of the future. How could he ever dream of leaving her? No, the future they could share, married with a child, peaceful and happy and together, he could never throw that away. He lowered his head, their lips just a hair length away. "I'm with you. Now and forever." And closed the space, kissing her tenderly.


End file.
